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Guess what? Yap, ini adalah blog pertama yang gue tulis tanpa embel-embel tugas dari universitas di passion4edu. Singkat kata, tuh buku bercerita tentang kisah sukses orang yang dulunya pernah mengalami kegagalan, bukan cuma sekali, tapi berkali-kali. Tapi nggak mau nyerah… Hari ini, gue mulai dengan berdoa dan saat teduh pagi sebelum ke kampus.. Lalu ceritanya ketemu teman sekampus, kita makan siang bareng… Trus, sekarang gue sedang menikmati udara dan cuaca yang sejuk nggak terlalu dingin juga nggak panas di pinggir lapangan Rugby kampus bergengsi di Sydney ini. Tanpa punya rencana menulis panjang lebar sebelumnya, sebetulnya ini adalah jurnal pribadi tanpa formalitas apa pun. Btw, minggu-minggu ini adalah momen yang sangat teramat berat bagi gue… Gimana enggak??
Ya, kira-kira 20 tahun yang lalu, ketika saya masih di bangku Taman Kanak-kanak. Bukan itu saya, ayah selalu memotivasi kami membaca buku-buku yang baik dan menyempatkan untuk berdiskusi tentang isu-isu yang menarik. Sungguh adalah suatu kerinduan hati saya untuk dapat menjadi kebanggaan ayah dan ibu. Kami mengerti bahwa biaya yang dibutuhkan untuk dapat masuk ke sekolah unggulan di area tempat kami tinggal adalah sangat mahal.
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Project can be overwhelming how ability overcome it repeat it. As a house officer, I graduated from medical school, posted to the oncology department at NUH.
And, every day, every other day I witness death in the cancer department.
When I see how they suffered, I see all the pain they went through. I see all the morphine they have to press every few minutes just to relieve their pain.
I see them struggling with their oxygen breathing their last breath and all. But it was just a job. When I went to clinic every day, to the wards every day, take blood, give the medication but was the patient real to me? They weren't real to me. It was just a job, I do it, I get out of the ward, I can't wait to get home, I do my own stuff. Was the pain, was the suffering the patients went through real? Of course I know all the medical terms to describe how they feel, all the suffering they went through.
But in truth, I did not know how they feel, not until I became a patient. It is until now; I truly understand how they feel. And, if you ask me, would I have been a very different doctor if I were to re-live my life now, I can tell you yes I will.
Because I truly understand how the patients feel now. And sometimes, you have to learn it the hard way.
Even as you start just your first year, and you embark this journey to become dental surgeons, let me just challenge you on two fronts. Inevitably, all of you here will start to go into private practice. You will start to accumulate wealth.
I can guarantee you. Just doing an implant can bring you thousands of dollars, it's fantastic money. And actually there is nothing wrong with being successful, with being rich or wealthy, absolutely nothing wrong. The only trouble is that a lot of us like myself couldn't handle it.
Why do I say that? Because when I start to accumulate, the more I have, the more I want. The more I wanted, the more obsessed I became. Like what I showed you earlier on, all I can was basically to get more possessions, to reach the pinnacle of what society did to us, of what society wants us to be. I became so obsessed that nothing else really mattered to me.
Patients were just a source of income, and I tried to squeeze every single cent out of these patients. A lot of times we forget, whom we are supposed to be serving. We become so lost that we serve nobody else but just ourselves. That was what happened to me. Whether it is in the medical, the dental fraternity, I can tell you, right now in the private practice, sometimes we just advise patients on treatment that is not indicated.
Grey areas. And even though it is not necessary, we kind of advocate it. Even at this point, I know who are my friends and who genuinely cared for me and who are the ones who try to make money out of me by selling me "hope".
We kind of lose our moral compass along the way. Because we just want to make money. Worse, I can tell you, over the last few years, we bad mouth our fellow colleagues, our fellow competitors in the industry.
We have no qualms about it. So if we can put them down to give ourselves an advantage, we do it. And that's what happening right now, medical, dental everywhere. My challenge to you is not to lose that moral compass. I learnt it the hard way, I hope you don't ever have to do it. Secondly, a lot of us will start to get numb to our patients as we start to practise.
Whether is it government hospitals, private practice, I can tell you when I was in the hospital, with stacks of patient folders, I can't wait to get rid of those folders as soon as possible; I can't wait to get patients out of my consultation room as soon as possible because there is just so many, and that's a reality. Because it becomes a job, a very routine job.
And this is just part of it. Do I truly know how the patient feels back then? No, I don't. The fears and anxiety and all, do I truly understand what they are going through? I don't, not until when this happens to me and I think that is one of the biggest flaws in our system. I'm not asking you to get involved emotionally, I don't think that is professional but do we actually make a real effort to understand their pain and all? So don't lose it, my challenge to you is to always be able to put yourself in your patient's shoes.
Because the pain, the anxiety, the fear are very real even though it's not real to you, it's real to them. So don't lose it and you know, right now I'm in the midst of my 5th cycle of my chemotherapy. Chemotherapy is one of those things that you don't wish even your enemies to go through because it's just suffering, lousy feeling, throwing out, you don't even know if you can retain your meals or not. Terrible feeling! And even with whatever little energy now I have, I try to reach out to other cancer patients because I truly understand what pain and suffering is like.
But it's kind of little too late and too little. To understand that there are people out there who are truly in pain, truly in hardship. It is not true. A lot of these poor people do not have much in the first place, they are easily contented.
We choose to ignore them or we just don't want to know that they exist. So do think about it alright, even as you go on to become professionals and dental surgeons and all. That you can reach out to these people who are in need. Whatever you do can make a large difference to them. I'm now at the receiving end so I know how it feels, someone who genuinely care for you, encourage and all. It makes a lot of difference to me. A lot of things happened along the way, that's why I am still able to talk to you today.
I'll just end of with this quote here, it's from this book called Tuesdays with Morris, and some of you may have read it. Everyone knows that they are going to die; every one of us knows that. The truth is, none of us believe it because if we did, we will do things differently. When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential.
The irony is that a lot of times, only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. Those things happened to me.