download The Playbook PDF for FREE: Let ultimate bro and co-author Barney Stinson and his book, THE BRO CODE share their wisdom. THE. BRO. C O D E. BARNEY STINSON with MATT KUHN. A Fireside Book. Published by Simon & Schuster. New York London Toronto Sydney. lifetime and must be nurtured, because as we all know, the skin is the largest and second most important organ a man has. bARnEy sTInson's FIELd guIdE To.
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Why it would work: Girls are scientifically attracted to firefighters. Hold up a poster with your phone number. Wait for the texts to roll in. Why it would work: If a girl thinks you're hot, she doesn't have to stress about approaching you or getting up the nerve to say hello. She already has your digits! It's an easy convo starter if nothing else.
Rather than degrade women, The Playbook centers on the profound, positive, and personal changes you can make to trick hot sluts into sleeping with you.
The plays in this book are scientifically calibrated to excite the female sex nodes enough to make her actually consider having sex with a stranger. This strategy flies in the face of conventional wisdom, because for countless millennia men were led to believe that women were not interested in casual sex. Now, thanks to science, we can generate a clearer picture of what women are looking for in a sexual partner.
Money Fame Vulnerability Emotional and spiritual fulfillment Obviously, number four is right out the window.
Seducing a woman by satisfying her on an emotional level is difficult, time-consuming, and quite frankly, unrewarding. Therefore The Playbook focuses on transforming you into someone who reflects some or all of those first three qualities. This is done so that even a chump like you has a shot at glory. Immediately following the title of the play is a profile box that presents the following quick reference information: Now, before you flip to a page and start trying out plays on random chicks, there are three things you need to consider.
Beta-testing a play in a foreign environment safeguards you from any emotional damage, physical harm, or heaven forbid, your bros giving you crap for striking out.
A good one will let you sample their wares at little to no cost if you promise to promptly return them. This is done for safety. If you tried to run an advanced play like The Land Mine Whisperer without the proper experience, you could wind up seriously hurting your chances of getting laid. How are you? Cheetos-stained jeans, sandals, and a hysterically ironic screen-print T-shirt.
How many ladies have you been with? In the above picture, you are most likely A. The proof exists in prehistoric cave paintings.
Cavemen would return home from a hunt carrying one of their buddies, Urk, on their shoulders. To help sell the story, they drew pictures of the event on the wall using charcoal and ochre. On the next hunt the men would quickly kill an animal and then spend the rest of the day choreographing the big reenactment and arguing over which cave chicks would look the best clothed.
Creating the myth of the all-day hunt served two purposes for cavemen: That would be The I Love You—which of course had an extra level of complexity before the invention of language. Tragically, they were all destroyed by a gaggle of angry nuns. But, Barney, why would monks spend their entire lives scheming up ways to sleep with women when they had taken a vow of celibacy? I think you just answered your own question, fake reader. The Insignificant HumanGalileo GalileiPoints his telescope heavenward, proving to chicks how infinitesimal we are, so why not bang?
The Great CompromiseRoger ShermanDevelops the bicameral system of representation to balance power between large and small states but, more important, triple the number of hot young staffers introduced to Washington, DC, every election cycle.
The Spirit of St. LouisCharles LindberghFools the world into thinking flying is dangerous, thereby creating generations of nervous and vulnerable female passengers. Posthumously named president of the mile-high club. The GandhiMahatmaShaves head, puts on glasses, Gandhi and goes on a hunger strike to protest something or other.
The move reappears half a century later with The Bono. The Eagle Has LandedNeil ArmstrongGets millions of chicks to believe he actually went to the moon—and walked on it! As we embark on this new mission together, remember The Playbook is only a guide. I encourage you to add your own personality and creativity to each and every play. During your adventures you may start to feel the urge to develop your own plays.
I highly encourage you to do so, and then post them to barneysblog. T ake a knee, boys. I encourage you to add your own personality and creativity to each and every play. I highly encourage you to do so, and then post them to barneysblog.
One final note. Throughout your quest you may find yourself mired in a slump, when none of the plays seem to work and you suddenly feel like the worthless individual you were before reading The Playbook. Until I write my next book. While each of the plays presented in this book will put you in the best possible position to score, the publisher makes no guarantee you actually will.
Offer to demonstrate what reentry feels like when returning from the smoon. Bummers begging the universe to kick you in the nards. Set up camp in a public place and start coughing like crazy. Now tell her the worst part is leaving the earth before ever shar- ing the intimate company of a woman. Say this with puppy dog eyes and you should be good to go. Bummers roses are thorny—ow! Sleep with her. I saw some guy slip something in there. When she asks who did it, look around and point to the smallest dude in the room or a bro you want to play a funny prank on.
Let her reward you for saving her life. Grow a beard. Shave out the mustache portion of your beard. Put on your ill-fitting suit but lose the tie and swap the belt for suspenders. You want to learn more about the English before you return to a life of simple humility. Have sex with her. Here are a few rites of passage you can use to hit on chicks. In the middle of a bar or party crouch down and activate your dry ice. Quickly strip down to the buff. Be really attractive.
Bummers leg irons can cause mild chafing. Approach your target and accidentally knock her purse or phone to the floor. Make sure she sees them. Quickly, in a whisper, tell her you just escaped and beg her to keep quiet. Approach your target and introduce yourself.
Why Does This Work? Women are conditioned to think that Europeans are more sensitive, stylish, and intelligent than Americans. Apparently they value those qualities. Montevideo exists in Uruguay, which is in South America, not Europe.
You try working with him. Make sure you are operating within this window. Use masking tape to add a U, S, and A to the back of your warm-up jacket.
Why does it have to be an oatmeal raisin cookie? Put on your jacket and enter a bar with your silver medal hanging around your neck. As targets approach and inquire about your medal, shrug it off. Choose a target and mount the podium. Start reading today: Read an excerpt now.
Flag for inappropriate content. Related titles. Jump to Page. Search inside document. All rights reserved. Immediately following the title of the play is a profile box that presents the following quick reference information: Have sex with chicks.
Related Interests Beard Seduction. Ajeigbe Yekeen. Weldon Owen Publishing.
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